It is consuming me. In my thoughts constantly. Driving me mad. I almost feel like I don't care if he is with her. I am so resentful of the way I've been treated.
I have the start of a cold today. I'm tired, worn out. Could do with a break from the horses and dogs. But I can't. It's called responsibility. A thing you cannot just walk away from. But he has. The selfish pig. I am sure if he's not feeling well he can just relax and watch tv. Mr free. Not a care in the world. Comfortable in the fact he has power. Some idiot confessing their love even though hes committed the worst crime against them. It must boost his ego..must make him feel very important.
I must find something else to obsess over. Why cant it be housework, or decorating? Nothing has moved in the house since he's been gone. The junk on the coffee table still in the same place. Like an unintentional shrine to the way life was. A new obsession would be good.
I have a new penpal. She lives locally. Will see where it takes us. I would love a friend. Just one, im not greedy. A real friend. That lives nearby, who I see out of work. I have 2 good friends at work but its not the same .
It is Thursday today. A week tomorrow I have a long weekend booked off work, organised from "before". Off Friday to Tuesday. 5 days alone. I am dreading it. I may cancel it.
No comments:
Post a Comment