Friday, 29 September 2017

Day 441

I have a problem with my memory. A serious problem. I need to see a doctor about it. I forget words, forget what I'm doing, find it hard to hold a conversation sometimes.

Today at work it caused a big argument. I have absolutely no recolletion of a conversation I supposedly had at the beginning of the week. I wanted to cry after he shouted at me to sort my brain and my memory out. I've been joking about it for a while but to hear somebody actually say that to me was really upsetting. Because its obviously become noticeable.

I tried to tell my mum about it a few weeks ago, how I thought in all seriousness I had early signs of Alzheimer's. She laughed at me, like it was a joke. I felt pretty dam small.

I really need to talk to a doctor but I just find them so useless and dismissive that it's really off putting.

Tomorrow my friend, the former overpaid work colleague, is driving over to see me. She's bringing 2 of her 3 children. I'm not looking forwards to it. The house is a tip, the dogs aren't child friendly. I have a man coming to look at a leak in the kitchen at the same time. I'm so used to being alone at home, 4 other people will feel suffocating.

God I'm such a miserable cow.

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