Wednesday, 27 September 2017

Day 439

It's his birthday today.

I haven't been tempted to message him. I've barely given him a thought.

It's amazing to me that I can talk about it, about him,  without breaking down now. If it comes up in conversation I always wonder if the other person is cringing inside hoping I don't cry. There was a time when it didnt matter who you were or where I was. I was going to cry. Out loud.

But those days are long gone. Sometimes I do fee a little emotional but it's when I think on how I felt rather than him. It's hard to remember the physical pain it caused me at the time let alone mentally. It was a lifetime ago, or so it feels.

So that's 2 birthdays without each other now. I wonder if he ever thinks of me. I hope so. I hope he's missed me today. Serves him right.

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