Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Day 432

Probably this time last year I posted on Facebook asking for suggestions for places I could volunteer on Christmas day as I couldn't face the thought of  Christmas without you know who.

This evening I found a message a few weeks old sent to me by a lady who had seen the post and was in a similar situation. It's made me feel very sad. Not for me. But for anybody that has to experience the awful feelings I had last year. I did repond to her and sent her a link to my first diary entry to see if it could help her at all. I don't know her circumstances, they may be completely different to mine, but it has prompted me to read my first entry again.

I'm not clever enough to add a fancy "press here" thingy so here's the link...

Wow. It feels like a different person wrote it. My heart breaks for the me of then. I've forgotten the pain, the physical pain I felt.  I don't ever want to feel it again. I also feel sick reading about how much I loved Gavin.

Puke! I wouldn't give that spineless motherfucker the time of day now. I have come so far, changed so much. But I bet he's the same slimy little slug that I now know him to be. So long sucker!

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