Another morning. Another migraine.
Self inflicted this time as I've not been going to bed early enough the last few nights. I struggled through work but perked up late afternoon.
I cried as soon as I got home. Exhaustion. Stress. As soon as I park outside my house I can hear my dogs barking. It's so stressful and must seriously piss the neighbours off. Then the old boy is just whining all the time for no reason. I can't go upstairs for 5 minutes without him crying. I feel suffocated and close to the edge.
So I shout at the dogs. Then I feel guilty. I have a photo of them as my screensaver at work. Everyday I torture myself seeing little Ronnies face. I miss him. I'm terrified of losing the next one. I'm also terrified I'm going to strangle him.
I've been clearing out photos from my phone onto a hard drive where I've found all the photos from the 7 years I spent with my lying cheating ex fiance. I feel nothing looking at them other than disgust. What a waste.
My eyes are fighting me to close but its still daylight and I feel bad putting the dogs to bed so early. I really need a break from my life.
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