Day 87

True to form, Saturday started on a downer.

I couldn't sleep last night. Couldn't switch off. Not down to him, but the shitty text.  So I woke this morning with a headache and a bad mood. I spent hours numbing myself with TV.

I took the dogs to my favourite spot and apart from my shoulder being pulled out of the socket for most of the time, it was just what I needed. The lovely horses were happy to see me, or at least the pile of hay I gave them. No sign of the shitty texter or in fact anybody, so it was hassle free.

Thinking about it I haven't actually spoken to anyone but the dogs and horses since I left work yesterday. I don't seem to mind.

I cooked dinner..veggie spag bog. Very nice and a change from something from the freezer. It took hardly any time. I must make more of an effort but always think its too much hassle to cook for one. It doesn't have to be I guess.

I realised today that apart from writing this diary every day, I barely think of him now. It was quite a surprise. I really don't care where he is or what, or even who, he is doing. He's a creep. A complete loser.

If I could stay where I am now I would be happy. If I could stay in my house I would be happy to struggle alone with all the work the dogs and horses cause. It was always a chore, a rush. Better get it done quickly so can get home to cook dinner and watch TV. What a waste. I enjoy it now. It's tiring and hard work but I have noone to answer to. I can take my time, do what I like. I am happier here without him.

But I can't stay here. That is the problem. Still in limbo with the house sale. Need to come to some arrangement very soon, but that would involve communication!