I'm tired. Really tired. My emotions are dragging me down. I'm fed up with being by myself all the time.
Tomorrow is my works christmas do. I can't go. I must come home and sit alone with the dogs like every other bloody night.
I'm suffering with extreme self pity today. I want to hide under the duvet and never come out.
I expect tomorrow I will be feeling totally different. It's like I have multiple personalities dependent on how tired/upset/stressed I am.
I want to stop thinking about him. Need to be hypnotised or hit very hard on the head. I just want him gone. I don't want to be thinking about him being with her. If they're watching our tv programmes. If she's washing the clothes I bought him. Them Christmas shopping and decorating the tree. I don't care about it...why do I keep thinking of it and torturing myself. I hate him. I dont want him. I couldn't care less what he's doing but it keeps coming into my head.
I just want to delete him from my life. A few weeks and I can advertise the house for sale and start making a serious effort to erase him.
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