Proper scary walk on the moors in pitch black tonight.
If I broke my leg in a hole or was attacked by the boogeyman, nobody would know apart from the dogs who would likely make a run for freedom if I was half dead on the floor.
Another reminder of being alone...alone....alone. As I type it I hear it like an echo...am I losing the plot now?
Went out for lunch today with 2 current and 1 former workmate. It was nice, I felt normal. Not on edge that someone might say something that would upset me. I laughed and joked and enjoyed myself. Got excited at work talking about our friends wedding next year. I'd love to wear the lovely dress I wore for my sisters wedding in Italy. It was 3 years and 3 stone ago. I have until September, I could do it. If only I'd stop thinking/eating about it. Would it be weird to wear the same dress I wore when I was with him? Would I feel funny? I'd look like a giant bright floral nightmare in central London I know that much. I got away with it in 30 degrees sunshine in Amalfi.
I hope come September the horrible little waste of space won't enter my mind! Although going solo to a wedding is bound to be peculiar.
No contact from him about the house...sigh!
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