Day 89

Early start today as had to see to my horses before work.  Me and the dogs set off in the pitch black at 6am. I would normally be a bit scared as it's a bit creepy at the stables in the dark but I was wearing my big girl pants and quite enjoyed it.

A dreary unchallenging day at work followed by another trip to the stables this evening.  As usual I stop off afterwards to walk the dogs and it's usually just about dark by the time I get to a good spot.  Tonight I parked up and got the dogs out of the car. They went mental. There was a body on the ground. It moved. It was doing something very strange. The dogs were furious.

It was a barefoot lady in flowery leggings and a white puffa jacket doing yoga at dusk on Dartmoor in 7degrees C. I guess it takes all sorts. I laughed out loud. My 17 year old toothless terriers wanted to kill. It really cheered me up. By the time we got back to the car she had turned into a glowing white torso waving around on the floor. It was really very strange.

It would have been nice to have somebody with me to share the joke but I managed to laugh anyway. God help any clowns that try and jump out at us. That seems to be the latest weirdness being reported on the news. People dressed as clowns wandering around scaring people. I say bring it on. After the initial shock it would be a pretty good excuse to beat the crap out of somebody.

Had a conversation with my parents tonight about my intentions to sell the house and how to go about splitting things with the unfaithful one. I feel a bit happier after speaking to them. There is a temptation to just give him what he wants to get it over and done with but I would regret it in the long run. I change my mind from one day to the next, so up and down.  My parents will look out for me to make sure I don't lose out for the sake of a less painful and hassle free transaction. I just want it over with but I really need to look out for number one.

4 months ago my life was so different. I could never imagine I would be preparing to do battle over money or looking for an affordable dump to live in by myself.  Life seems very cruel. I'm really trying to see the positives. A new start, my own person, my own decisions. But it's scary and still feels very recent and very sudden. I came across a few photos of him on my phone earlier. I thought I had deleted them all but the dogs were in them and I don't like to delete doggy pictures. I feel superstitious about it.  I felt nothing when I saw him.  I guess that is a good thing?