It's a very strange thought that and if my ex was to die, it is not beyond reason to think I might not be told.
We were together for years, engaged, but a complete stranger would be at his funeral mourning him. It makes me feel very strange.
These are the kind of things that plague my thoughts. I don't want to be thinking about him. About him being with somebody else. He doesn't deserve happiness, he's in the wrong. It is not right that I'm the innocent person but it's me that is suffering. How can he live with himself? I guess that's the difference between a good and a bad person. I could not lie to someone the way he has done. It makes me feel sick. I thought I knew everything about him. It's a horrible feeling.
Christmas is a week away. Then its a new year, new start. House will go on the market and I can start to make plans and look forward.
I'm scared but it has to be done.
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