I can't remember but I assume there was a time when there was no pain. Things were rubbish in our relationship for a long time. They have been terrible ever since.
I long for the time when I am pain free.
I miss my little dog. His silky little bony old mans head and noisy snoring. Pain.
I cried today thinking about the day I have to leave my house. Pain.
I have so much to be thankful for but I'm finding it hard to focus on it at the moment. Christmas is just a day. I spend nearly all the time I'm not at work by myself. I don't mind mostly. So what if I'll be on my own in the evening on Christmas day. Except now that I'm fairly certain that he's with/living with grab a granny I can be fairly confident he'll be having a nice Christmas.
Its not fair. Why should he? He should be miserable. Why should someone be able to do such a terrible thing and have no negative consequences. I want him to be miserable and lonely and feel regret for his disgusting actions.
I hate him.
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