Day 72

Day off work. Carpet fitters are here. Improving my home for somebody else.

Trying not to think about it too much. It's just a house. Not had the happiest times here. The day he left he said he couldn't get our first day in the house out of his head. Stupid bloody pig.

When we bought the house as usual I had done all the work. Found a mortgage, did all the paperwork, arranged viewings, provided the deposit. On the day we completed on the sale I was stuck at work so he went to collect the keys. I assumed he would wait for me seeing as how it was the first home we'd bought together. It should be special. Something we should do together. No. He went round to the house by himself. I was so upset. We had a huge row. And 2 years later he uses that as part of his excuse. What an arse. He was in the wrong. Selfish.

Still, this is my home and I love it.

The new flooring looks really nice. Has made a huge difference. I've spent the afternoon cleaning and decluttering downstairs. Tomorrow I need to tackle upstairs in time for valuation at 3pm.  I'm knackered. It's hard work with 3 dogs under your feet.

I don't know if I should contact him. I want some acknowledgment from him that I've been doing stuff to the house that he should be doing. I feel like I should send a photo of the new floors. Ask for his address as I'm appointing an agent this week and they'll probably need his agreement. If I do that is he going to reply? Will he just give me the address..I doubt it. And there's a chance he's with her so it would confirm it and I dont want to know. Or he could be an arse and just ignore me as usual. Everything that involves him is just too difficult. I don't know what to do for the best. Maybe see agents first and then decide.

I wonder how long it will take to sell. Its not in the best condition and needs stuff doing to it still. We were the first to view when we bought and made an offer there and then. It just felt right. I hope somebody loves it like we instantly did.

I'm so tired of it all.