I still need to do this afterall.
A couple of messages from him and I feel like I'm falling apart again.
We need to be in contact. One of the cars, the one that broke down, is due MOT, Insurance etc. this month. Its in his name.
He said again about renting the house. Said about dealing through solicitors, for all contact. That really hurt. I cried at work. I'm crying now. I just don't understand.
This hasnt been dragging on for years. I haven't done anything. He's only been gone 5 weeks. He doesnt want to talk to me. No contact. Who wouldnt be hurt by that? Him apparently.
Just as I start to feel better he has to knock me back down.
I'm back to feeling up and down again. How is he having this affect on on me? I was so angry, so sure I just wanted to be rid of him. Now I feel I want answers. Why did he do it, does he feel nothing for me, does he have no regrets? I'm back to torturing myself. It's so unhealthy. So painful. I do want this to be done and over with. I am trying to keep some dignity.
It's just so hard.
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