Day 135

The days are just flying by.

Soon it will be day 200. The day I wanted to fast forward to so I wouldn't be feeling pain anymore.  I don't think 200 days will be enough.

As Saturday's go of late, it's been ok. Not been any drama or tears although there has been some overthinking and moping. But that's ok compared to the Saturdays I was experiencing 100 days ago.

Tomorrow the front door lock is being changed. I've wanted to do it for so long, it will be such a relief to feel secure. I know there will be backlash from it. It's me, my luck, how couldn't there be. The day after the locks are changed he'll probably ask if he can let himself in to get something. "Well no, you're locked out" isn't going to go down too well. I have to keep reminding myself..he had a whole other life, viewed a property with his mistress, he left me devastated. Almost killed me.

Tough fucking shit if he doesnt like it.