Monday 2 October 2017

Day 444

Absolutely nothing going on today.

Apart from moving 20 boxes, bin bags and a sofa bed around in one of the spare rooms all so I can connect up the printer. The printer I unwittingly bought Gavin for Christmas not knowing he'd just had sex with someone else. The printer I hid from him so he couldn't take it. Haha what a dick. Unfortunately my plans to sit in front of the TV and send photos upstairs to print are less than satisfying. It's not working properly and I can't be bothered to sort it out.

Elderly dog is driving me mad. I've felt close to breaking point tonight. I've shouted at him loads and feel really guilty. Thankfully he's quite deaf and probably unaware. He's so lovely and kind but fuck I want to snap his neck when he constantly whines and cries. And the paw licking..it's made my skin crawl tonight. I feel so awful having these thoughts about him. He loves me more than my own mother. It's heart breaking to see his back legs are starting to go like his brother's did last year. I can't bear to think about what's coming. December will be a year since his brother went. Oh god, please dont make me have to do it.

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