Day 179

6 months ago I was utterly baffled. Confused. Unbelieving. Upset.

I returned from work to be told that I was an awful person and that it was all my fault that my fiance didn't love me any more and had secretly rented alternative accommodation and would be moving out on Thursday.

This was not the day my world ended. I had two days to go before that treat.

I woke this morning very thankful that I had learnt fairly recently to mute my phone at night. He had text me at 11pm, in reply to my reminder of what we'd been doing 6 months ago. He said "I'm sorry".  Nothing more nothing less.

It feels pretty insufficient.

So today I have made an appointment for my chosen estate agent to come to take photos and measure up. Its not for a couple of weeks so I have a few days to sit around in a pig sty before having to go into panic mode and make my home presentable.

It's no good hanging around waiting for paperwork from him, all the time wondering if he's delaying, if he wants to come back. Even if he did I don't really want him. It would just be to avoid the hassle and terror of going it alone and having no money.

So decision made and I'm getting on with it.