Day 173

Back to reality today. Up at 5.20 to go
do the horses. Temperature in the car read minus 6. A very rude awakening!

At work I had 71 emails but the first I saw was from my Solicitor. She hasn't received the signed paperwork from him still. Supposedly it was sent for the 2nd time 2 weeks ago. I just despair.

What the hell is wrong with him? I'm so annoyed that I felt sorry for him last week, that I considered "things". What an idiot I am. So after a really nice break I am truly back to reality and feeling unsettled and pissed off.

I have text him this morning about it...No answer! How long does this have to go on for?

And tonight I get home and there's post for him. He left 5 months ago. Why is there still post? It was a phone bill. Of course like the nosey bitch I am I opened it. Lucky him, he's got himself a new phone. It cost the same amount that I had to pay to have my dog put down.

The bill isnt itemised, thank god, but there are 3 numbers listed as they went over his price plan. For fucks sake..I reverted to the crazed victim, googling the numbers, convinced it was going to lead me to what has really been going on.

Premium Bonds, a Catalogue, a motorbike transporter.

I feel such an idiot. And so pissed off that I'm still having to go through this all this time later. I don't care if he is/isn't with her but being in limbo like this, stuck in this house unable to move on, surrounded by his things,  is making me insane.

I'm considering sending him an email. A version of the one I wanted to send on Day 169, but a little less polite.  But if he doesn't reply or acknowledge AGAIN I think I will go mad.

I don't know what I did in a previous life but it must have been pretty shitty.