Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Day 316

Minor over thinking today.

How very sad I was last year. I can't believe I went through it..that it happened to ME!  What did he do the day after he left? While I was bed bound and feeling suicidal was he relieved? Was he glad to be away from me?

Fucking Cunt.

That's all there is to it. I want him out of my head, erased, an unpleasant memory.

I still haven't looked up his address. I still don't care, but I'm annoyed that he's crept back into my thoughts.

I know its just down to the approaching changes. Moving house and starting over. That's making me nervous and my brain is on overdrive. Am I overstretching myself with this new house? I will have no money left for anything. If I break down again or dogs need the vets I won't have any spare cash. But the alternative is a small pokey home that I won't be comfortable in. I'd have to get rid of alot of my belongings. Why should I? I don't want to. I'm always so cautious, worrying about the what ifs. Well fuck it. I'm going for it and hoping I can manage.

If not...well I've often thought I could make money on a fetish site. Some weirdo would pay good money to watch me stuff my face while I watch TV! Lets hope thats a last resort and shelve that idea for now !

No comments:

Post a Comment