9am
After 2 clothes changes I have finally left the house in an embarrassing ensemble. What can only be described as a tent with jogging bottoms. But its ok. I put red lipstick on!
In an attempt to save my Mobile data I have fished out my exes old satnav from the box I'd packed it away in and off I go. Fuck me he must have had dainty fingers because I've had to pull over twice to fiddle with the bloody thing and at one point was heading to Aberdeen instead of 2 miles away in Plymouth. But I've made it. I'm parked down the road, 15 minutes early. So far no sign of murderers or rapists in the area, but there are 2 small humans playing in a front garden next to my car. Glad I'm not looking at the house next to them.
Off I go..
House 1 - very quiet estate. All a bit squashed and samey. Actually really spacious deceiving house with its own parking space. Garden bit of a disappointment. £5k over my absolute max.
20 minute drive through areas where murderers and rapists definitely live. Next house seems bang in the middle of it. I can see fields and cows so it can't be that bad? Definitely not leaving my bag in the car at this one.
House 2 - not a great start when someone else turns up and asks if you're the estate agent. I expected undivided attention and to be shown around not a block viewing free for all. As it happens there is nothing at this house resembling the particulars and nowhere does it mention that its a dilapidated heap. Agents did a good job on photos at this one. Not much I wouldn't give for some hand sanitiser right now.
90 minutes until next one. Can I find my way to a more civilised location that sells disinfectant items?
I've followed the satnav to the next one. I recognise the area. It's really far from my horses. Not sure it could work but area seems nicer, not so scabby. Found a Lidl, going in for hand sanitiser and cheap doughnuts.
House 3 - a huge concrete monolith. Needs work doing. Best thing going for it is the huge Lidl nearby.
House 4 - I need medical assistance. And a shower. A chemical shower. And my nose removing and bleaching before reattaching. Something was dead or dying. I can smell it on me now. I can taste it. Thank god I was wearing a scarf I could I use as a face mask. Shame as I fancied the agent with the huge ginger beard.
House 5 - same agent. Stroll to the next road. Nice conversation between gagging about the smell of the last place. We get on great. I'm old enough to be his..auntie? He's just being polite but it's nice to feel attracted to somebody again. Back to the house. I Love it! Its £5k over budget and has 4 bedrooms. A proper grown up family home for little old me. But I love it. No parking but dont even care about that. 26 miles from work. Do kind of care about that but I have asked for a payrise...there's a creek and lake nearby and loads of dog walking places. Stay grounded Sarah.
House 6 - a short drive from house 5 and right opposite the lake. Same price but only 2 bedrooms. On street parking but seems to be plenty of it. Desperate for a wee and can smell house 4 on me again. I'm a bit early so enjoying the lovely views. Its so quiet. What would the neighbours make of my barking and howling dogs? The house is lovely, newly renovated. Plush new carpets. Spoilt on me as Alfie dog would probably puke on it on Day 1. I only have eyes for house 5.
2pm
Home now, clothes off and in the washing machine to rid them of the death smell from House 4. Last 2 viewings have been cancelled.
I can't believe I actually feel excited about a house which is miles away and doesn't have any parking. My main criteria. But I can be cross about having to park down the road from the comfort of my 4 bedroom house. I don't need it. It's too big. I don't care. Its solid, and homely and I want it. I just need to get the estate agents to convince the owner to sell it to me for cheap.
After discussing with my mum I've decided to just go for it and offer what I can. The bearded agent seems a bit nervy and wants to wait for the office manager to speak to the owners on Monday. I don't want to wait, if it's a no then at least I'll know. My parents have been loaning me half the mortgage payments since December and are telling me today that they don't want it back so I should offer higher. It's so kind of them but I would feel like I was taking advantage and am refusing to take it. I'm going to go back tomorrow to look again and take them with me.
Everything is crossed.
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