Day 203

Its been the longest day today.

I barely slept last night as I opened the bedroom window as it was too hot with 2 dogs in the bed and the gales outside terrified my big dog. She spent what felt like most of the night clambering all over me and keeping me up. I wasn't very kind to her when she was frightened but she's forgiven me.

So I'm absolutely shattered. I managed the 20 mile drive home from work, just. I couldn't wait to get home as it was touch and go whether I would actually be able to stay awake the whole way. When I got home my heart sank and I was so upset to find a For Sale sign in my front garden after I specifically told the estate agent I didn't want one. Now I feel like all my neighbours are talking about it and looking it up on the internet. If my ex happens to do a drive by he will obviously know its for sale which I also didn't want. If he sees the asking price I know he willl be angry and be in contact which I need to avoid.

I feel so annoyed that its my house, my land, my decision, yet I'm insignificant enough to the estate agent that they just disregard my preferences.

Yet another occasion where I'm made to feel unimportant.

I'm so exhausted that I'm restraining myself sending an out of hours shitty email as I will no doubt regret it and probably think its not that big a deal tomorrow. 

But tonight I'm upset..