Day 346

Fed up feeling fed up.

I got my mojo back for a little while but its noticeably absent lately.  I messaged my ex sister in law today to let her know I was unfriending on FB and my reasons why. I'm glad I did it. We weren't close but I feel better for being polite. She replied to say she totally understands. She didn't have to so I'm grateful she was also polite but it says it all really when she didn't ask my plans or how I am. But its done and its a relief.

This evening a totally unrelated but shitty remark I received had me in tears. I feel really lonely at the moment. To think people are getting ready to go out for the night or sitting down to family dinner, and there's me in a field, alone, crying out loud. I know it's a blip and a week of back ache isnt helping but I feel rubbish. I don't know why I take things so personally. The slightest thing makes me feel inferior. Nobody else I know seems to be treated like crap by certain people, is it just that they don't notice? Or am I paranoid?

I'm a grumpy bitch. But I'm kind and trustworthy and would always try and help out if I could. I genuinely feel that people don't see that in me though. It sucks.

The signed paperwork turned up at least, although he had to sign two documents and the signature on each is totally different to the other. What a weirdo.