Day 289

The exhaustion continues today. I slept badly last night so when my alarm went off at 4.30 this morning I felt like I'd been up all night.

Things didn't improve when I managed to snap the wire in my bra and it was on the verge of slicing me open. I spent the day with a load of toilet roll shoved in my bra to protect my skin which was less than ideal.

I'm back to feeling lonely again. Maybe I should go back over my past entries to see if there's a pattern to the lonely feelings coming on. I know it's mostly down to being so tired, but I cried on my drive home from work tonight. I don't get any phone calls, the only texts I get are from Dominos. I miss having someone to call in my lunch break. Rain or shine I would go out to ring him at lunchtime just for a chat to see how he was and where he was working. All those times he didn't answer and I now know what he was doing. Horrible bastard.

It's bank holiday weekend again and I've tagged an extra days holiday onto the end of it. Because I'm so tired. 4 days of solitude are not going to help my state of mind though.

I feel such a total loser. My life is pretty much over. This is it. It would be years before I would consider dating again and that would put me firmly on my way to 50. I'm in a mess emotionally and financially and it won't ever get any better, financially wise anyway. How did this happen to me?

And seeing as they text me I've obliged and ordered a massive Dominos takeaway that I can't afford.