Day 272

I have a huge dilemma. I've been in tears. I wish I'd never seen it.

I've discovered what a colleagues salary is.

I am team leader. The head of my small department. The most experienced person in the entire organisation. I have so much responsibility and daily pressure. My role has evolved, I did not have any of this when I joined 4 years ago.

A part time member of my team is on the same salary as me. She is younger than me, less experienced than me. Comes into the office 2 days a week with no pressure and just talks about her children then swans off without a care in the world because I'll do all her shit when she's not there. There is no justification on this planet for us to be on equal salaries.

I am offended, upset, disappointed and really bloody angry.

What do I do? I need to ask for a payrise but it needs to be significant. I'm not meant to know what my colleague earns. I don't want to know. I've never asked for a payrise..ever. I feel so uncomfortable. Talking about money is awful but I'm not doing it for fun. But if it backfired and my job is in jeopardy then I'm fucked. My financial situation is so dire. I really need more money.

I'm so upset. Why the hell does shit keep happening to me?