Day 379

I really tried to have a lie in today. I'm so shattered I thought it would do me good. Wrong. I managed to stay in bed until
about 9 but I was by no means rested. The dogs were driving me mad before I even got up so I was stressed already and it didn't get much better.

I tried to go upstairs to sort some stuff out but couldn't cope with the stress of the dog crying and ended up having to take them both with me which was less than useful. So I gave up. I cried. My headache got worse. I contemplated taking him to the vets to be put to sleep. I cried some more. I don't know how I'm going to get it all done. And what about when I get to the new house and I want to unpack and decorate. I can't do that with a senile dog attached to me. I'm finding it so hard. I love him dearly, he has really been my most genuine and trusted friend but I can't take much more of it. I am going to go insane and it's naking me so stressed. But the thought of it happening is too awful to bare. I just have to think back to December when I had to make the decision with his brother. Just awful.